Paris Hilton Says She Is Too Beautiful For Jail

Terrified that her 45-day prison sentence for drunk driving will plunge her into a world of daily beatings, group showers and a total absence of anything that’s even vaguely “hot,” Paris Hilton is doing all she can to get out of jail before she even goes in.

Paris Hilton in Jail

So what does Paris have up her sleeve? What is she doing to stay out of the Century Regional Detention Facility?

  • Expensive legal advice from a team of the world’s most expensive lawyers? Nope.
  • Displaying genuine remorse for her crime in order to show the appeals court that she’s learnt her lesson? Are you kidding?
  • A half-baked MySpace petition? Bingo!

The ‘Save Paris Hilton from Jail MySpace Petition’, calls on California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to terminate her jail sentence because she “provides beauty and excitement” to everyone’s lives. This is what the petition says:

“Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives… We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong… This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life.”

If you are interested, you can sign the ‘Save Paris Hilton from Jail MySpace Petition’ here.

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7 Responses to “Paris Hilton Says She Is Too Beautiful For Jail”

  1. Mike
    May 12th, 2007 09:05
    1

    Where’s the “Socialites are not above the law–lock her up!” petition?

  2. Chuck
    May 12th, 2007 14:49
    2

    there is a jail paris hilton petition, I read last night it had 4000 more signatures than the ‘free paris’ petition.

  3. Kay
    May 12th, 2007 16:13
    3

    lol
    what do they think they are above the law,shes just acting like thoes criminals from 3rd world countries

    locke her, post the lock paris up site chuck, i want to vote locke her tight

  4. Chuck
    May 12th, 2007 22:44
    4

    Here ya go!

    http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/jailparishilton/

  5. kay
    May 12th, 2007 23:55
    5

    i didnt think it would be in the same site chuck lol

  6. Mike
    May 13th, 2007 03:10
    6

    But the only way you can sign the “Jail Paris” petition is by donating to the site. A voluntary request is one thing; a “poll tax” is another.

  7. Alyssa
    May 18th, 2007 01:58
    7

    Actually, once you click “sign petition” and are taken to the donation page, the donation is optional. Your signature is already recorded.

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